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When I began writing this book, I went home to see if my mum had kept some of my old stuff. What I found was that she hadn’t kept some of it. She had kept all of it – every bus ticket, postcard, school report – from the moment I was born to the moment I finally had the confidence to turn round and say ‘why is our house full of this shit?’ Sadly, a recycling ‘incident’ destroyed the bulk of this archive and left me with no choice but to actually write this thing myself. Most of it is true. I have, of course, amplified my more positive characteristics in an effort to make you like me.
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